Aspergers. What’s Your Excuse?
It was just a matter of time…
Weekends were a welcome break, both in the temporary reprieve from school and the sometimes-interesting events they brought with them. One Saturday, at age nine, I attended a wedding for my cousin.
Families were much larger then, and weddings had hundreds of people in attendance. This particular venue was hosting at least two weddings; one on each side of the building, so there were lots of people.
And, lots of alcohol.
As we were leaving, a sudden squeal from the direction of the other wedding froze me in my tracks. I was next to my dad, and when I stopped, he stopped.
On my left was a man holding a woman, presumably his wife, by her wrist, and they were involved in a heated discussion. His face was bright red and malevolent; she was leaning back, trying to pull away, and her face was contorted by fear.
Suddenly, with his free hand, he slapped her in the face!
I bolted in his direction! I didn’t know what I was going to do when I got there, but I was on my way! My mission – to prevent additional slaps.
My dad, who was extremely quick, came after me and grabbed me by the shoulders. I stopped and looked up at him.
He said, “That’s not our business.”
I was confused on several levels. I felt once the man did this in public, it was everyone’s business. I felt the slap, and it rippled over everyone!
I also felt when someone was attacking someone weaker, regardless of who they were; it was everyone’s duty to intervene. I couldn’t process that I was the only one who reacted to the situation and was disappointed that my dad, of all people, saw it the way he did.
That instinct, the intense instinct to run to someone’s aid and apply just the requisite and appropriate intervention techniques, is absent in most humans. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t need cops.
This is also my first recollection of a situation demonstrating my lack of the fight or flight response; an observation of Aspergers that is accurate in my case. The fight or flight response should not be confused with the startle response or startle reflex.
If a gun goes off near me, I’ll flinch like most folks, perhaps sooner, given the enhanced senses. If I didn’t have this; it would have been picked up in the initial Apgar test at birth, identifying an anomaly and perhaps saving us all a lot of trouble…
This is just a glimpse—there’s much more to uncover in the full book.